‘Restart Your Body’ crossdresser is exactly what you’re looking for on Thanksgiving

It’s strange to think that, in the age of the internet, there is still some kind of taboo (or pseudo-taboo) attached to wearing red during Thanksgiving Day parades. Especially when those parades are held in communities that have become so tech-obsessed that it’s hard to recognize an actual person in any of the personas one can create on Facebook. Regardless, I didn’t go out of my way to attend the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York on Thursday morning — mostly because it’s a poorly executed, two-hour paid for distraction from my horrific Twitter feed. That’s why I couldn’t help but be pleasantly surprised that I spent time at Times Square while walking by Macy’s — where, it turns out, there’s some value in dressing up.

A few years ago, after a small crash, I decided to dress up like a goth and marched along with the #GothFight, a group of parade attendees who ceremoniously scratched under their foreheads and made scary faces during the procession in celebration of under-developed mental-health issues. That was fine with me, at least. While on the eighth annual parade route, I noticed some people were wearing shirts that read “Restart Your Body.” I needed a quick back-up costume, so I went home and changed into one of those shirts — becoming one of the animated dancers I saw earlier that day. I quickly figured out that I was going to get a lot of crap from friends for wearing the costume, but I was in mourning for a small stretch of my life, so nothing could hold me back from making fun of my own pathology. “Restart Your Body” emblazoned with a cartoon naked guy is ultimately not a good idea to go out in the daylight — especially on a day that includes incessant police harassment, more artists who try to piss off Macy’s executives (like Rex Stout, who painted a sword on the parade route in 1989), and hundreds of other miscellaneous performers, just like me.

Then I saw some particular sections of my family who would ride on the subway and celebrate Thanksgiving like they do every year. Their first option is a trip to the pumpkin patch; their second is seeing their favorite celebrity and creating a meme using…whatever that was. Between waiting for the train, this year, I actually experienced a slightly different kind of post-holiday “frenzy” from my own family — one that put a smile on my face and made me feel like not a single person was wondering who this “new” you is — “Restart Your Body” or not. It was that kind of day, truly. By the time the parade passed, my family members were in the mood to text back-and-forth jokes and lyrics to some cult classics. That’s right: “You talkin’ to me, Gertrude McFuzz?” The parade is great, and it’s the way I feel about everything that might be threatening my sanity. It’s not giving up — I’m just making use of it to help me from going to Dr. Phil and reenacting the Waco-Bundy standoff.

Read the full story at LATimes.com.


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